College Applicant

Parents can be very upset when their children don’t get into the college of their choice.

As an admissions counselor for a state university, I took a call from an irate mother who was demanding to know why her daughter had been turned down.
Avoiding any mention of the transcript full of D’s, I explained that her daughter just wasn’t as “competitive” as the admitted class.

“Why doesn’t she try another school for a year and then transfer?” I suggested.

“Another school!” exclaimed the Mother. “Have you seen her grades?”

Received from Pastor Tim.
The Good, Clean Funnies List

News in Brief: Informal Tone Of Cover Letter Sets Job Applicant Apart From Seriously Considered Candidates

MILPITAS, CA—Saying his casual writing style made him “stand out immediately,” sources at Redding Media reported Monday that the informal tone of Michael Yanover’s job application had set him apart from the candidates under serious consideration. “As soon as I read his cover letter greeting of ‘Hey there,’ I could tell Michael was much different from the applicants we’ve brought in for interviews so far,” said head recruiter Anne Peabody, adding that Yanover had quickly captured her attention with the line “This job and me are meant for each other.” “I didn’t even have to get all the way to the end—after he called himself a ‘social media maven’ and a ‘certified data junkie,’ I fast-tracked his résumé to a separate pile reserved for people we won’t be getting back to.” At press time, Peabody had reportedly given Yanover’s application a second look …



The Onion

The Applicant

When Yhivi applies to become an Upper Floor Slave, she must first get past the domineering Alpha Slave Holly Heart before she gets to prove her worth to the dick.
The Upper Floor Gallery Update

The Applicant

When Yhivi applies to become an Upper Floor Slave, she must first get past the domineering Alpha Slave Holly Heart before she gets to prove her worth to the dick.
The Upper Floor Gallery Update

The Applicant

When Yhivi applies to become an Upper Floor Slave, she must first get past the domineering Alpha Slave Holly Heart before she gets to prove her worth to the dick.
The Upper Floor Gallery Update

The Applicant

When Yhivi applies to become an Upper Floor Slave, she must first get past the domineering Alpha Slave Holly Heart before she gets to prove her worth to the dick.
The Upper Floor Gallery Update

The Applicant

When Yhivi applies to become an Upper Floor Slave, she must first get past the domineering Alpha Slave Holly Heart before she gets to prove her worth to the dick.
The Upper Floor Gallery Update

The Applicant

When Yhivi applies to become an Upper Floor Slave, she must first get past the domineering Alpha Slave Holly Heart before she gets to prove her worth to the dick.
The Upper Floor Gallery Update

The Applicant

When Yhivi applies to become an Upper Floor Slave, she must first get past the domineering Alpha Slave Holly Heart before she gets to prove her worth to the dick.
The Upper Floor Gallery Update

The Applicant

When Yhivi applies to become an Upper Floor Slave, she must first get past the domineering Alpha Slave Holly Heart before she gets to prove her worth to the dick.
The Upper Floor Gallery Update

The Applicant

When Yhivi applies to become an Upper Floor Slave, she must first get past the domineering Alpha Slave Holly Heart before she gets to prove her worth to the dick.
The Upper Floor Gallery Update

The Applicant

When Yhivi applies to become an Upper Floor Slave, she must first get past the domineering Alpha Slave Holly Heart before she gets to prove her worth to the dick.
The Upper Floor Gallery Update