That’s right, Valentine’s Day will be here before you know it. 2014 is history. No one special to kiss under the mistletoe? If you faithfully follow these nine steps, you’ll make up for it by getting plenty of lovin’ from your new sweetheart in less than two months!
You don’t have to love Valentine’s Day to accept this challenge of manifesting love quickly.
It’s a milestone, one that you can reach! If you’re a fan of being in a loving relationship, read on.
1. Get A New Attitude
Take a cold, hard look at your attitude towards men. There’s a good chance it sucks. What I mean is, you probably spend more time thinking about what is wrong with men than what is right.
Do you find yourself thinking “All men want are young, dumb girls who don’t challenge them” or “All men are liars” or “All the good ones are taken — if he’s single, there’s something wrong with him“?
If any of those statements, or any statement like that rings true for you, guess what? Your attitude sucks. Why would any man want to be with you if you are assuming he’s defective in some way?
Really — this is important. Why would a good man want to be with someone who thinks men suck?
If your answer is, “He has to prove to me that he’s a good man and then I’ll change my attitude” guess what? You’ve got that backwards. Stop clinging to some rom-com fantasy that you can be a total bitch to some guy and he will slowly start to see that under it all you have a heart of gold and then he’ll desperately try to prove to you his love and devotion.
The truth is, if you believe that all men are dogs or whatever sucky belief you have, you will find a way to be right. Deep down you don’t want to be right, because you want to be loved, but even deeper down you want to be right! And so you will, through your energetic focus and self-sabotaging behavior, find the guys who prove you right. You’ll be right, but you’ll also be miserable!
Instead of focusing on your fears of what men are “like,” start focusing on all the good stuff you actually want to experience from and with men. The past is the past. There are lots of men out there who are loyal, kind, affectionate, smart, passionate and more — the list goes on!
If you can’t find some positive male traits and behavior to focus on, that’s on you. You’re not trying hard enough!
2. Get A New List
If you are a single adult woman who has managed to get this far in life without making “the list” of the traits of your dream man, congratulations! You now get to start from scratch, which might be easier than ditching your old one. Which is what I urge the rest of you to do.
Clarity is key, an important factor in zeroing in on what’s important so you can ignore all the crap that isn’t. The act of writing down what you do want and believing you can have it is powerful.
If you write down a bunch of dream characteristics, many of which have nothing to do with your actual relationship with this imagined person, that’s less helpful. It’s especially unhelpful when you don’t actually feel and believe that meeting this person is a possibility.
No more hoping against hope! Now is the time to believe.
Your new list is going to change everything. You’re going to start manifesting men who are ready, able and willing to provide everything on your new list.
Your new list has FIVE items on it. None of them have to do with physical appearance or occupation.
Your new list has your five core relationship needs.
Now is the time to be honest with yourself. I’m not suggesting you only have five needs, but for this to work you have to boil it down to five. Think of the elements of your dream relationship (the actual relationship – what you share between you) you need to feel fulfilled.
For contrast, imagine having a relationship without these needs being met. That relationship would suck and feel empty, no matter how hot or rich or tall or adventurous your partner was.
Your list is yours alone and only you can decide what to prioritize. Some examples of common relationship needs are loyalty, physical intimacy, open communication and intellectual stimulation.
Once you have your list, keep it with you, reflect on it and envision how you can start to recognize men who are ready, able and willing to fulfill these needs. Men who can fulfill them now, in a relationship with you. Not in theory, not in rom com fantasy, but in reality!
3. Get A Dating App (or three)
Let’s get down to brass tacks. We don’t have a lot of time between now and Valentine’s Day, so we need to fast track this new relationship of yours. You might prefer the idea of meeting someone by “chance” or without “trying.”
Well, I prefer the idea of you sending a loud and clear message to the universe that you are willing to walk the walk when it comes to manifesting love! And you should, too!
There are tons of dating apps to choose from. There’s Tinder, Hinge, MELD, Siren, Coffee Meets Bagel and tons of others! A quick Google search will help you find the right one or ones for you.
These apps are free, and they are easy — even fun to use! Because of the ease factor, you get a lot of people using apps who wouldn’t necessarily take the time to fill out a long dating profile and pay a membership fee online.
That is good news for you! You have every kind of person using dating apps and they all have one thing in common — they want to meet someone! Some are looking for a quick hookup and some are looking for marriage, and everything in between.
Take the time to fill out a short bio (leaving your bio blank implies you’re looking for a hookup), leave out any negative statements (e.g. “Don’t bother writing me if you’re a cheater“) and stay open!
You can’t know everything about a person based a tiny snippet of information, so don’t even try to! Make your first date a cup of coffee or a drink and make it happen quickly – no days or weeks of back and forth.
Before you meet, you can’t know if he’s Mr. Right — just learn enough to know if he’s Mr. Right For Coffee On A Wednesday!
4. Get A New Hobby
It’s time to shake things up! Do something new, just for you. Don’t do something practical, do something fun. Something that gets you excited. Maybe you’ll finally learn French or the Argentine tango. Find a class, find a group on meetup.com, find a YouTube channel to learn the basics and then go out and find a community of like-minded people.
The point of getting a new hobby is not to meet a man while doing it (though of course that might happen), the point is to do something that lights you up. Why?
Because that passion and excitement is totally hot. It’s magnetic.
You’ll be happier and subsequently, other people will be happy around you. That includes men!
Don’t wait until a month from now when a new class at your local Y opens up. Valentine’s Day is fast approaching! Go ahead and sign up for that class, but YouTube is free and if you’re reading these words, you have access to it.
Make your new hobby a habit!
5. Be On The Lookout
Single women tell me all the time that they have no idea where to meet men. The reality is, there are men all around you. They might not all turn your head at first sight, but they are there!
You never know who you might meet and what might come of that meeting unless you are open to connecting with men in your everyday life.
Being on the lookout is not the same as being on the prowl. You’re not putting on your sexiest outfit as you head to the office or supermarket and winking at strangers on the subway (unless you want to!).
I’m asking you to keep your eyes open and be available to make eye contact or share a smile or a hello. Just focus on spreading your lovely, welcoming energy to those you encounter!
If you normally spend your commute with your head buried in a book or a smartphone, try going without. Take your headphones off. Look around you and be present!
6. Get Some New Friends
I hear all the time from single people how much of an impact their friends have on their dating lives. Some complain about all of their friends being married or otherwise coupled, or their friends being highly dysfunctional in the dating arena. One woman told me that she and her best single girlfriends are “the blind leading the blind.”
Even if your friends are the light of your life, it can only help you to expand your social circle. I’m not saying you should ditch your friends (unless any of those relationships are toxic), but one of the best ways to meet a romantic partner is through a mutual friend or acquaintance. So it’s a good idea to get some new friends!
Surrounding yourself with like-minded people can help you reach your goals faster.
You might have to go outside of your immediate circle to find those like-minded people. If you’d like to get out more socially and your existing friends aren’t helping in that area – find new ones! Maybe it’s time to take that old co-worker up on that invitation to get a drink, or to ask one of those old classmates you’ve connected with on Facebook out to lunch.
7. Kiss The Nerdy Guys
Don’t take my word for this. Take a poll of every happily married or coupled woman you know. Ask her if her man was “cool” or had “game” or “swagger” when they first met. Ask her if he said all the right things, was suave and kept her guessing.
The answer is no 99% of the time. And there’s a reason for that – the guys who have game are usually playing a game. When someone really likes you, is about connecting with you on an authentic level, he’s not playing a game.
Even the coolest guy becomes “uncool” when he’s courting someone he really cares about AND is ready, able and willing to be in a relationship with.
So if that guy is acting a bit awkward and unsmooth and even nerdy with you, take it as a good sign!
8. Be Uncool
While we’re on the subject of coolness, it’s time for you to cut that sh*t out yourself! Being the “cool” woman, the one who goes along to get along and never asks for anything in return will get you nowhere, and fast!
No more sex without commitment and respect. No more “it’s cool” when you haven’t heard from a guy for weeks and he texts to see what you’re “up to” tonight. No more “Well, I’d like a relationship, but no pressure!” attitude.
If a guy is not interested in dating you once he finds out you are looking for a committed relationship, that you are not willing to have casual sex or welcome him back with open arms after he’s gone M.I.A. for a week, he’s doing you a favor!
Being honest about seeking a real commitment won’t “scare off” the right guy. If he runs away, he was not going to be your man anyway.
You deserve a partner who is all about you, who sees a future with you and is ready to start on the path to that future now.
And in case you’re thinking that you don’t play it “cool” because you give a guy a hard time or bust his balls when he doesn’t do what he says he will, guess what? You’re still going along to get along. If you continue to engage with him, continue to see him and hook up with him, you’re sending a message loud and clear to him and to the universe — you’ll take what you can get, even if what you’re getting is total crap.
9. Get Grateful
I can’t say enough good things about gratitude and its power. What you focus on expands! If you are grateful for the good things you have, even the small ones that a less observant person can easily take for granted, your life will change. Guaranteed!
Gratitude is KEY in the love manifesting process. If you are asked out by someone who is respectful and kind in his approach to you, be grateful. Even if you don’t go on the date (which you should strongly consider doing!), don’t take the invitation for granted. Be thankful for all of the love and kindness you receive in your life.
If you turn your nose up or take sincere romantic interest for granted, you are sending a message to the universe that you don’t want more of it!
So there you have it, my dear. Happy dating! Let me know how it goes and tell me about all the love you’re manifesting! You can comment below or hit me on Twitter @DearFranny. Want some help staying motivated and on the right love track? Sign up for free weekly inspiration at www.madetomeasurematching.com.
Style – The Huffington Post
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