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Works Well with Others: An Outsider’s Guide to Shaking Hands, Shutting Up, Handling Jerks, and Other Crucial Skills in Business that No One Ever Teaches You – Ross McCammon

Ross McCammon - Works Well with Others: An Outsider's Guide to Shaking Hands, Shutting Up, Handling Jerks, and Other Crucial Skills in Business that No One Ever Teaches You  artwork

Works Well with Others: An Outsider’s Guide to Shaking Hands, Shutting Up, Handling Jerks, and Other Crucial Skills in Business that No One Ever Teaches You

Ross McCammon

Genre: Comedy

Price: $ 12.99

Publish Date: October 6, 2015

© © 2015 Blackstone Audio

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8 Tips For Handling A Run-In With Your Ex Like A Total Boss

It’s every newly single person’s nightmare: You’ve just gotten past the ”Netflix and cry while in sweatpants” stage and you run into your ex unexpectedly.   

It’s going to be awkward; there’s no way around that, unfortunately. But to help you feel more at ease should this happen, we asked relationship experts to weigh in with some advice.

Below, what you need to know to remain cool as a cucumber in the moment.

1. Avoid going in for a big bear hug. 

“Try to avoid physical contact. A kiss on the cheek can be too intimate and so is a hug,” said Jill Knapp, a relationship expert and author of What Happens To Men When They Move To Manhattan? “That said, you’re obviously not going to shake their hand like it’s a job interview. Try a polite smile and a nod instead. Acknowledge their presence without the possibility of a bro hug or an awkward pat on the back.” 

2. It’s OK to admit that running into each other is next-level awkward. 

“Lighten up the moment by saying something that acknowledges the awkwardness of the situation,” said Neely Steinberg, a dating coach and the author of Skin In the Game: Unleashing Your Inner Entrepreneur to Find Love. ”Go ahead and say, ‘Well, this is awkward’ or make a joke. Taking this approach might take the edge off you so you can engage in a lighthearted — but brief! — conversation.”

2. If you know you’re going to bump into your ex (for example, if you’re both invited to a mutual friend’s wedding), prepare beforehand.

“Get control of your nerves! To prevent that heart-racing, sweaty palms feeling from happening, visualize ahead of time what a successful run-in with your ex would look like,” marriage therapist Kristina Fecik said. “Be detailed, from picturing your posture, to considering how you want your voice to sound. Then write it down and test it out on a trusted friend.” 

3. Don’t brag about how great your life is now.

“Frank Sinatra said, ‘The best revenge is massive success,’ but he forgot to mention one tiny fact — only insecure people need revenge in the first place,” said Michelle Fiordaliso, co-author of Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Ex. “Being humble about how you’re doing makes a bigger statement than bragging.”

4. And definitely don’t overdo it or lie when your ex asks what you’ve been up to post-split. 

“Though you may be tempted to talk about how utterly fabulous your life is now, whatever you do, don’t lie about it,” said Bella Acton, a relationship expert and the founder of Never Liked It Anyway. ”You’ll look flustered, nervous and out of sorts. Don’t forget that your ex knows you so well that he or she will probably be able to tell that something’s amiss.”

6. Avoid drama by staying in the present.
“Don’t bring up the past,” said Kimberly Seltzer, a dating coach and the owner of Elite Image Makeovers. “Don’t engage in emotionally charged conversations or find a way to subtly insinuate blame for things that happened while you were together. Instead, stay focused on the positive things that are happening in your life now and do so in a calm manner.”

7. Maintain boundaries.
“Membership to your ex’s life has its privileges and you’re not in the club anymore — don’t dig too deeply for details,” suggested Heather Belle, co-author of Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Ex. 

8. And lastly, end the conversation before things get too weird. 

“Most exes can be kind to one another for a set period of time. Once you’ve gotten the niceties out of the way and had a chance to catch up, you need to get out while the getting’s good,” said Damona Hoffman, a dating expert and author of Spin Your Web: How to Brand Yourself for Successful Online Dating. “If you start to feel any weirdness creep into the conversation or find yourself scrambling for topics, that’s the perfect time to say, ‘Well, it was great to see you,’ and make a clean exit.”

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Chemistry.com gay - First Date 300x250

8 Tips For Handling A Run-In With Your Ex Like A Total Boss

It’s every newly single person’s nightmare: You’ve just gotten past the ”Netflix and cry while in sweatpants” stage and you run into your ex unexpectedly.   

It’s going to be awkward; there’s no way around that, unfortunately. But to help you feel more at ease should this happen, we asked relationship experts to weigh in with some advice.

Below, what you need to know to remain cool as a cucumber in the moment.

1. Avoid going in for a big bear hug. 

“Try to avoid physical contact. A kiss on the cheek can be too intimate and so is a hug,” said Jill Knapp, a relationship expert and author of What Happens To Men When They Move To Manhattan? “That said, you’re obviously not going to shake their hand like it’s a job interview. Try a polite smile and a nod instead. Acknowledge their presence without the possibility of a bro hug or an awkward pat on the back.” 

2. It’s OK to admit that running into each other is next-level awkward. 

“Lighten up the moment by saying something that acknowledges the awkwardness of the situation,” said Neely Steinberg, a dating coach and the author of Skin In the Game: Unleashing Your Inner Entrepreneur to Find Love. ”Go ahead and say, ‘Well, this is awkward’ or make a joke. Taking this approach might take the edge off you so you can engage in a lighthearted — but brief! — conversation.”

2. If you know you’re going to bump into your ex (for example, if you’re both invited to a mutual friend’s wedding), prepare beforehand.

“Get control of your nerves! To prevent that heart-racing, sweaty palms feeling from happening, visualize ahead of time what a successful run-in with your ex would look like,” marriage therapist Kristina Fecik said. “Be detailed, from picturing your posture, to considering how you want your voice to sound. Then write it down and test it out on a trusted friend.” 

3. Don’t brag about how great your life is now.

“Frank Sinatra said, ‘The best revenge is massive success,’ but he forgot to mention one tiny fact — only insecure people need revenge in the first place,” said Michelle Fiordaliso, co-author of Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Ex. “Being humble about how you’re doing makes a bigger statement than bragging.”

4. And definitely don’t overdo it or lie when your ex asks what you’ve been up to post-split. 

“Though you may be tempted to talk about how utterly fabulous your life is now, whatever you do, don’t lie about it,” said Bella Acton, a relationship expert and the founder of Never Liked It Anyway. ”You’ll look flustered, nervous and out of sorts. Don’t forget that your ex knows you so well that he or she will probably be able to tell that something’s amiss.”

6. Avoid drama by staying in the present.
“Don’t bring up the past,” said Kimberly Seltzer, a dating coach and the owner of Elite Image Makeovers. “Don’t engage in emotionally charged conversations or find a way to subtly insinuate blame for things that happened while you were together. Instead, stay focused on the positive things that are happening in your life now and do so in a calm manner.”

7. Maintain boundaries.
“Membership to your ex’s life has its privileges and you’re not in the club anymore — don’t dig too deeply for details,” suggested Heather Belle, co-author of Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Ex. 

8. And lastly, end the conversation before things get too weird. 

“Most exes can be kind to one another for a set period of time. Once you’ve gotten the niceties out of the way and had a chance to catch up, you need to get out while the getting’s good,” said Damona Hoffman, a dating expert and author of Spin Your Web: How to Brand Yourself for Successful Online Dating. “If you start to feel any weirdness creep into the conversation or find yourself scrambling for topics, that’s the perfect time to say, ‘Well, it was great to see you,’ and make a clean exit.”

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Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

Handling Credit Card Debt During and After Divorce

Divorce can drain funds from the checking account. The attorney needs a retainer. (And likely, so does one of the kids!) You need money to pay consultants and maybe a custody evaluator or other experts. Perhaps you’ve set up a new household. And maybe you haven’t worked in a decade so your employment options include volunteering to get experience or a minimum wage part time job that doesn’t come close to meeting the rent and utilities.

Whether you’re slamming down the credit card to cover the lawyer’s fees, first and last month’s rent for a new apartment, or the kids’ school supplies, credit card debt is easy to rack up. Before long, you’re anxiously dodging monthly statements, hoping there’s enough to cover minimum payments, and realizing you’ll probably owe money for decades.

Los Angeles attorney and Certified Family Law Specialist Steve Mindel, managing partner at Feinberg, Mindel, Brandt, & Klein, says there are numerous levels of credit and debt for divorcing women who may not have established credit in their own names. No matter where you are in the divorce process, there are key issues to address.

Establish Credit. While you’re in the planning stages, establish credit in your own name. Life without credit is almost impossible in America today.

Know Your Credit Score. You’ll not only be dividing assets but also assigning debt. Ascertain what’s in your name, what’s in your husband’s, and what you hold jointly.

Talk to a Financial Planner or Accountant. You’ll have lots of financial decisions ahead of you as you proceed through divorce. When you liquidate assets like a house or IRA distributions, you’ll need to assess if it’s better to use the money to pay high interest credit cards or to leave where the money where it is and pay monthly. You’ll take a beating but will have cash. If you aren’t in that league, you can still contact the Better Business Bureau to find nonprofit debt review entities.


Split Custody of the Cards.
Divide credit card debts between the two of you. “You get the Amex and Citibank Visa; I’ll take the Nordstrom and Bloomingdale’s.”

Consider a Loan from a Peer to Peer Lending Platform. Peerform Lending’s Gregg Schoenberg says, “We’re trying to be in the best position to facilitate loans that often beat credit cards, which are very expensive. The sector has definitely picked up steam since the financial crisis. Banks are concerned about plugging holes in the balance sheets and innovation has filled the void. Marketplace lenders like Peerform Lending have been growing.”

Consolidate Debts. Schoenberg says marketplace loans are absolutely good for debt consolidation. “If a woman who is in the process of going through or has gone through a divorce needs to get her financial house in order, the idea of paying significantly less in many cases than what credit cards charge each month can make very good financial sense,” he adds.

Use a Short Term Loan for Large Purchases. “You wouldn’t buy a house on a credit card,” adds Schoenberg. “If you have a specific expenditure like moving expenses, furniture, or medical bills, a term loan can make sense. But, traditional banks don’t like to extend term loans to people who actually need the money.”

Don’t Cut Up All Your Credit Cards. Research FICO scores. Keeping a zero balance and charging from time to time rather than closing credit accounts may keep you in good stead.

Create a Strategy. Recognize there are different ways to finance purchases. Schoenberg says he believes in debt segmentation as part of an overall financial strategy to get control over every dollar spent. “I believe that part of that strategy needs to involve discipline. Knowing when you borrow $ 8,000 for X and paying every month can be a very effective tool versus using a credit card with a high limit.”

Scale Back Expenses to Match Income. Mike Cardoza, family law expert and author of “The Secret World of Debt Collection” says, “Don’t count 100 percent on child support or maintenance, which may be late. You may need to save money to sue for enforcement of payments. If you work for $ 25,000 a year and have child support and maintenance on top of that, aim for disposable income of $ 300-500 per month.”

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.




Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

Handling Your Divorce Like an Air-Traffic Controller

The stresses placed on divorcing couples, who are making decisions about custody, spousal support, equitable distribution and parenting plans are not unlike those of air-traffic controllers, who are trying to safely land multiple jumbo jets coming in on multiple runways. Perhaps these aren’t life or death decisions, but that depends entirely on your perspective!

I can’t take credit for this brilliant and so-directly-on-point analogy, but am borrowing it for the sake of this conversation. I hope it’s useful to anyone going through the divorce process today, or for those stuck in the seemingly never-ending post-divorce arguments that annoy, irritate and frustrate us.

We embark on the divorce journey for many reasons. For some, it’s a joint decision made, when it’s clear that the marriage isn’t working. For others, it was one spouse taking the initiative to raise the flag and take those first steps. Some go voluntarily into the process, and some go kicking and screaming, maintaining their status as “victim” in their broken fairytale. Regardless of how the travel plans were made, you are nevertheless taking this trip, and are forced to make many inter-related decisions that will ultimately affect your life and the lives of your kids. And you’re forced to do this while stressed, emotional and exhausted.

Landing The Planes Peacefully, Without Causing a Collision

Going back to our air-traffic controller analogy, it’s time to look at the full picture, but take one thing at time. To decrease the risk of mid-air collisions, follow the PEACE acronym: Parenting Plan, Equitable Distribution, Alimony, Child Support and Everything Else! This model allows for singular focus on a particular topic until agreement is reached, before moving to the next topic. Land the plane carrying the Parenting Plan first, and park it safely at the gate. Next, coax in the jumbo jet carrying discussions of equitable distribution and divvying up your marital estate. Alimony and Child Support discussions, which are often more formulary-driven and based on actual financial calculations, are like small aircrafts, circling the skies until ready for that final approach.

But before you drop the wheels and prepare for that final approach, check all of the instruments. Use them as your guide, but try to also use your own senses to visualize the runway. Think about the Parenting Plan as a living, breathing document that will continue to flex and grow as your children get older and their needs change. Okay, so maybe hundreds of lives aren’t at stake if you don’t get your parenting plan done right, but the impact on your children’s’ lives is significant if you fail to recognize that it’s about much more than timesharing/calendaring.

Now the landing strip is within your visual range, and you can see the control tower when you peek just slightly under the clouds! This is the final stretch of your journey, as you approach the courthouse steps and respectfully ask the Judge to grant your request and issue a Final Divorce Decree. As the wheels touch down, you can feel that sense of relief as you taxi towards the gate. Once parked, you can hear the bell ring as the flight attendant announces that you’ve reached your destination. After grabbing your luggage and pushing your way down the aisle, you de-board the aircraft and begin your final journey. “Granted,” you hear the judge say, and you know that you’ve finally made it.
Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!