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Actress/singer Jamie Lynn Spears would only be interested in reviving her hit series Zoey 101 if she had the “freedom” to tackle “more mature” storylines onscreen.
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A mature (over 40) lady gets pulled over for speeding…

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.

Officer: Don’t have one?

Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman: I can’t do that.

Officer: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer
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Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the
owner.

Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

Received from Judi.
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I’ll Mature When I’m Dead: Dave Barry’s Amazing Tales of Adulthood (Unabridged) – Dave Barry

Dave Barry - I'll Mature When I'm Dead: Dave Barry's Amazing Tales of Adulthood (Unabridged)  artwork

I’ll Mature When I’m Dead: Dave Barry’s Amazing Tales of Adulthood (Unabridged)

Dave Barry

Genre: Comedy

Price: $ 20.95

Publish Date: May 4, 2010

© ℗ © 2010 Penguin Audio

iTunes Store: Top Audiobooks in Comedy

Mature Dating Tips for Men

So, you are 50. You think you are old, but you are not. It’s all about your heart. If your heart is still young, you can’t be old. And young people date, don’t they? So, where should you begin? You may be thinking of calling that high school hot girl. Given below are some tips to help you date after 50.
Relationships:Dating Articles from EzineArticles.com

6 Tips For Mature Daters

Usually, the first date comes with the feelings of excitement, expectation, apprehension and fear. If you want to make your first date a great success, you may want to try out the tips given in this article. These tips may work for you even if you are a mature dater. As a matter of fact, these tips are more important for mature dating as the seniors are looking for the right companion.
Relationships:Dating Articles from EzineArticles.com

Sex With An Older Woman – What A Horny Mature Woman Wants

Older women who love sex with younger guys are everywhere and all around you. It could be any older woman that you come across and she could be from any walk of life. She could be from your local supermarket working behind the cash register, she could be the accounts manager at your regional bank or even the local council member for your neighbourhood area. Equally, she could be the school-run mom and stay-at-home wife or even the teacher who teaches at the local nursery.
Relationships:Dating Articles from EzineArticles.com

Love Hurts: A Mature, Brief Surmise on Moving on From Rejection and Heartache

“I can’t make you love me when you don’t, ” Bonnie Raitt sings. “How am I supposed to live without you,” Michael Bolton swoons. “Nothing compares to you,” Sinead O’ Connor laments. “Love is a battlefield,” Pat Benetar told us. Finally, “love hurts,” Nazareth informs us.

Love does hurt, as they say; or it can hurt, literally and figuratively.

Some of us know this better than others. Some of us know it only too well, sadly.

One individual we all know and love knows it extremely well. She has been known to kiss a frog or two. In fact, she recently told me when I met her in California, “I don’t expect much from frogs anymore.”

Meanwhile, the press has reported that on at least three separate incidents, she attempted to coerce her partner into a relationship, beating him when he refused. Other times she reacted with violence and rage when he broke up with her, or when he was simply hugging a friend, talking to another woman, or even just standing too close to them. She denies all of these, of course.

If a bad childhood is synonymous with poor choices, her background didn’t help in her love choices. She grew up in a small town in Iowa; her father died when she was young, and her mother wasn’t that nice to her. She had to enter beauty contests to survive, as many attractive single women do nowadays. She had a lot of vulnerability which she had to hide, because of her need to be a superstar and the competition. She had to grow up hard and fast and tough. Think Lady Gaga, Nicki Minaj and others and one has the correct picture.

Meanwhile, with respect to love, she has been in and out of this same relationship with the same individual from 1978 to 2015. That’s almost 37 years of love hurting. Indeed, if breaking up is hard to do this lady knows all about it and heartache firsthand.

Here then are words of wisdom from her when we sat together this month and I asked for her take on how to walk away graciously from a relationship gone bad. Here is her mature and brief response on how to think and move forward positively and graciously as a woman when our hearts are broken by men we love who no longer love us.

She told me on the topic of love hurts, in a French accent:

“Only time can heal your broken heart, just as only time can heal his broken arms and legs.” — Miss Piggy

That’s all she would say, before she stormed off. She has obviously forgiven and healed nicely.

Is it wine for the swine time maybe?!

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.




Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

Love Hurts: A Mature, Brief Surmise on Moving on From Rejection and Heartache

“I can’t make you love me when you don’t, ” Bonnie Raitt sings. “How am I supposed to live without you,” Michael Bolton swoons. “Nothing compares to you,” Sinead O’ Connor laments. “Love is a battlefield,” Pat Benetar told us. Finally, “love hurts,” Nazareth informs us.

Love does hurt, as they say; or it can hurt, literally and figuratively.

Some of us know this better than others. Some of us know it only too well, sadly.

One individual we all know and love knows it extremely well. She has been known to kiss a frog or two. In fact, she recently told me when I met her in California, “I don’t expect much from frogs anymore.”

Meanwhile, the press has reported that on at least three separate incidents, she attempted to coerce her partner into a relationship, beating him when he refused. Other times she reacted with violence and rage when he broke up with her, or when he was simply hugging a friend, talking to another woman, or even just standing too close to them. She denies all of these, of course.

If a bad childhood is synonymous with poor choices, her background didn’t help in her love choices. She grew up in a small town in Iowa; her father died when she was young, and her mother wasn’t that nice to her. She had to enter beauty contests to survive, as many attractive single women do nowadays. She had a lot of vulnerability which she had to hide, because of her need to be a superstar and the competition. She had to grow up hard and fast and tough. Think Lady Gaga, Nicki Minaj and others and one has the correct picture.

Meanwhile, with respect to love, she has been in and out of this same relationship with the same individual from 1978 to 2015. That’s almost 37 years of love hurting. Indeed, if breaking up is hard to do this lady knows all about it and heartache firsthand.

Here then are words of wisdom from her when we sat together this month and I asked for her take on how to walk away graciously from a relationship gone bad. Here is her mature and brief response on how to think and move forward positively and graciously as a woman when our hearts are broken by men we love who no longer love us.

She told me on the topic of love hurts, in a French accent:

“Only time can heal your broken heart, just as only time can heal his broken arms and legs.” — Miss Piggy

That’s all she would say, before she stormed off. She has obviously forgiven and healed nicely.

Is it wine for the swine time maybe?!

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.




Entertainment – The Huffington Post
Entertainment News-Visit Adults Playland today for the hottest adult entertainment online!

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Common — Uncommonly Mature Over Serena Williams and Drake Romance (VIDEO)

Common seems genuinely happy Serena Williams is back with Drake … which is especially impressive given the history between the 2 rappers over the tennis superstar.  We got Common leaving Ebaldi in Bev Hills…

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The Art of Attracting Mature Women – Tips for Younger Men

If you think mature women are no longer attractive, think again because not all men have their eyes on young women. Some men are attracted to mature women because of their independence and they are less likely to be clingy. Older women already know who they are, what they want, have more experiences, have more interesting stories, more confident and most importantly they are not dating to play games. There are men who prefer attracting mature women especially those who are ready to commit.
Relationships:Dating Articles from EzineArticles.com

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My Inappropriate Life: Some Material Not Suitable for Small Children, Nuns, or Mature Adults (Unabridged) – Heather McDonald

Heather McDonald - My Inappropriate Life: Some Material Not Suitable for Small Children, Nuns, or Mature Adults (Unabridged)  artwork

My Inappropriate Life: Some Material Not Suitable for Small Children, Nuns, or Mature Adults (Unabridged)

Heather McDonald

Genre: Comedy

Price: $ 17.95

Publish Date: February 5, 2013

© ℗ © 2013 Brilliance Audio

iTunes Store: Top Audiobooks in Comedy

9 Signs You’re Finally in a Mature, Adult Relationship

This was originally published at www.elitedaily.com

Media dictates so much in today’s world — including relationships.

Whether portraying unrequited love, forbidden love or passionate love, the media’s ideas of love all have something in common: drama.

After all, drama drives the media.

But, guess what? When you’re in a dramatic relationship, this reality isn’t so appealing. Dramatic relationships are just plain sh*tty, and there’s nothing romantic or alluring about that.

Real relationships, to be quite honest, could almost be considered boring, and the media doesn’t value “boring.”

For years, I bought into the idea that a relationship needed some type of drama to be legitimized. As I’m settling down, I’m realizing how truly wrong and exhausting that mentality was.

For the first time in… well, ever, I’m in a healthy, mature relationship. It’s different than previous relationships I’ve had because this one is real. It is solid. It is stable. It is everything I’ve ever wanted, and everything I didn’t know I needed.

It’s also everything I ran away from in the past because it just seemed too “boring.” Only now am I realizing that there is a difference between a boring relationship and a stable, mature one.

1. Being your significant other’s partner isn’t hard.

Until recently, I always struggled when I was in a relationship. Feelings of uncertainty and anxiety were overwhelmingly normal, while feeling secure in the relationship was not.

Maybe this is obvious, but it shouldn’t be the case. Being someone’s partner should come easily rather than feel like a chore or a responsibility.

2. You don’t have to be in contact 24/7.

Part of an adult relationship is realizing that each person has his or her own world, separate of one another. This means that being together all the time or constantly texting just isn’t feasible, and that is OK.

Actually, it’s even nice. I love my boyfriend, but if I talked to him constantly, I’d go crazy.

3. You don’t want to change your significant other.

I’ll admit that I have a history of seeking out broken people and trying to fix them, which never ends well. This isn’t the case in a healthy relationship.

In a healthy relationship, changing your partner shouldn’t even be a desire on your radar. Changing annoying little habits is one thing, but changing or fixing who someone is as a person should not be your goal. Maybe he or she isn’t perfect, but he or she shouldn’t have to be.

4. Your significant other balances you out — and even calls you out.

Rather than always agreeing on every aspect of life, your relationship tests and challenges your views. Your partner brings new views to light — possibly ideas that oppose your own.

When you don’t agree on a topic, it isn’t the end of the world. You acknowledge each other’s positions and move on.

5. Discussing the future isn’t scary.

In immature relationships, there is less certainty and less communication about the status of the relationship, therefore less willingness to discuss the future.

In an adult relationship, plans can be made months in advance without stopping to wonder where the relationship will or won’t be.

6. You may disagree, but you don’t all-out fight.

Observing how the other person argues and adjusting your own style is a learning process, but part of a mature relationship. For example, I tend to shut down when I am angry, whereas my boyfriend is more direct.

Adjusting to this was difficult at first, but now that we know each other’s style of disagreement, we are able to communicate in a more mature manner.

7. Showing your love becomes more important than verbally expressing it.

It used to irritate me that I am more vocal about telling my boyfriend I love him. He, on the other hand, doesn’t say it as often, but shows it in his actions.

Over time, I’ve realized that this is preferable to hearing it all the time. Sometimes love is in the day-to-day actions rather than the literal words, and this is definitely a more mature viewpoint.

8. Jealousy is a non-issue because the relationship is founded on trust.

In an adult relationship, the male can have female friends and vice-versa without the world coming to a screeching halt. Each partner is secure in the other’s commitment and does not possess an unfounded worry about cheating or dishonesty.

9. You’re in sync with one another — mentally and physically.

This may sound like it’s about sex, but it is not the case. It’s more about knowing a person so well and having developed such a connection that his or her smallest movement can be predicted — or sentences finished. It’s about him or her becoming an extension of you in a healthy way.

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I’ll Mature When I’m Dead: Dave Barry’s Amazing Tales of Adulthood (Unabridged) – Dave Barry

Dave Barry - I'll Mature When I'm Dead: Dave Barry's Amazing Tales of Adulthood (Unabridged)  artwork

I’ll Mature When I’m Dead: Dave Barry’s Amazing Tales of Adulthood (Unabridged)

Dave Barry

Genre: Comedy

Price: $ 15.95

Publish Date: May 4, 2010

© ℗ © 2010 Penguin Audio

iTunes Store: Top Audiobooks in Comedy

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Thanks for taking the time to peruse my profile. You may be thinking, &Who is this Lady and why should I care?&
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