I couldn’t sleep the night Vista was released: There were windows crashing everywhere.

“On the first day of my new afternoon show, I couldn’t wait to see who our first sponsor was. It turned out to be a well-known laxative. I eagerly,
said, ‘Well.., we’re off and running.'” (Merv Griffen)

A 2006 study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that Americans drink an average of 22 gallons of beer a
year. That means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles per gallon.

A statistician can have his head in an oven and his feet in ice, and he will say that on the average he feels fine.

Received from Stan Kegel.
The Good, Clean Funnies List