Kentucky Derby Hat Companies Getting Trampled By Stupid COVID

No FANS at the Kentucky Derby means no HATS at the Kentucky Derby … and it’s hurting business owners who bank on the big race. With the COVID-19 pandemic still wreaking havoc — Derby organizers have banned fans from attending the Sept. 5 event…


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Another Stupid Spell: Another Stupid Trilogy, Book 1 – Bill Ricardi

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Another Stupid Spell: Another Stupid Trilogy, Book 1

Bill Ricardi

Genre: Sci-Fi & Fantasy

Price: $ 16.99

Publish Date: June 26, 2018

© © 2018 Podium Audio

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Women Are Crazy, Men Are Stupid: The Simple Truth to a Complicated Relationship – Jenny Lee & Howard J. Morris

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Women Are Crazy, Men Are Stupid: The Simple Truth to a Complicated Relationship

Jenny Lee & Howard J. Morris

Genre: Comedy

Price: $ 12.99

Publish Date: September 29, 2009

© © 2009 Tantor Audio

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What Do We Do Now?: Keith and the Girl’s Smart Answers to Your Stupid Relationship Questions (Unabridged) – Keith Malley

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What Do We Do Now?: Keith and the Girl’s Smart Answers to Your Stupid Relationship Questions (Unabridged)

Keith Malley

Genre: Comedy

Price: $ 9.99

Publish Date: August 14, 2013

© © 2013 Keith and The Girl

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Lady Gaga, Intergalactic Warrior, Fights For ‘Stupid Love’ In New Video

Lady Gaga returns with the dance-pop anthem “Stupid Love” and its intergalactic new video.

Episode 817 Scott Adams: Who REALLY Won in New Hampshire, New Stupid Attack on Trump

My new book LOSERTHINK, available now on Amazon


  • CNN Stephan Collinson’s newest anti-Trump attack
  • Thanking Andrew Yang for making the race better
  • Comparing Democrat candidates to President Trump
  • Joe Rogan is at the highest level of human awareness
  • A way for the Trump Administration to Legalize marijuana

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Why We Suck: A Feel Good Guide to Staying Fat, Loud, Lazy and Stupid (Abridged) – Denis Leary

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Why We Suck: A Feel Good Guide to Staying Fat, Loud, Lazy and Stupid (Abridged)

Denis Leary

Genre: Comedy

Price: $ 12.99

Publish Date: November 18, 2008

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Stupid Good Lookings, Vol. 1 – EP – Phil X & The Drills

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Stupid Good Lookings, Vol. 1 – EP

Phil X & The Drills

Genre: Rock

Price: $ 5.99

Release Date: May 9, 2019

© ℗ 2019 Goldielocks / Xman Music

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Smokey Robinson calls Jennifer Lopez Motown tribute complainers ‘stupid’

Before they even hit the stage Sunday night at the Grammys for a tribute to Motown, Smokey Robinson was defending the selection of Jennifer Lopez. – RSS Channel – Entertainment

GamersGate: The World's Largest Online Game Store

Episode 301 Scott Adams: FOXNews Supporting CNN on Acosta Lawsuit is Brilliant But Looks Stupid to You


  • FOXNews files amicus brief aligning themselves with CNN and Acosta
    • Don’t get lost in the weeds on this
    • FOXNews performed a brilliant high-ground maneuver

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The post Episode 301 Scott Adams: FOXNews Supporting CNN on Acosta Lawsuit is Brilliant But Looks Stupid to You appeared first on Dilbert Blog.

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Darnold takes blame for ‘stupid mistakes’ in loss

Outplayed by fellow rookie Baker Mayfield in the second half Thursday night, Jets quarterback Sam Darnold took the blame for the offense’s woes in a 21-17 loss to the Browns. – NFL

5 Stupid Ways Movies Spoiled Their Own Plot Twists

By Kel Fabie,E.M. Caris,Maxwell C. Rettig,Dan Hopper,Abhimaan,S.S.A  Published: June 12th, 2018 

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Marlon Wayans Says H&M is Stupid for Not Hiring Black People

[[tmz:video id=”0_gk2beyb3″]] Marlon Wayans thinks H&M was doomed to run into a buzz saw by releasing ads with no vetting from black people. We got Marlon at LAX Tuesday and asked about the backlash over H&M’s racist ad showing an…


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Stupid Girl (New Adult Romance) – Cindy Miles

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Stupid Girl (New Adult Romance)

Cindy Miles

Genre: Contemporary

Publish Date: May 13, 2014

Publisher: TKA Distribution

Seller: INscribe Digital

"A raw, beautiful, poignant story about pain, heartache and first love. I couldn’t put it down.” – Carly Phillips, NYT bestselling author Only fools fall in love… After her senior year of high school leaves behind nothing but heartache, Olivia Beaumont is sure of this: She’s no stupid girl. She sets out for Winston University, promising herself that she will remain focused on her first and only love – astronomy. But all it takes is cocky sophomore Brax Jenkins and an accidental collision with a football, to throw her entire year off course. A quick-tempered Southie who escaped the inner city streets of Boston to pitch for Winston, Brax is known to play way more fields than just the baseball diamond. So, when his name is drawn to take part in his fraternity’s hazing dare, Brax eagerly accepts the mission to take Olivia’s virginity. But he doesn’t plan on falling hard for the sweet and sassy Texas girl who sees right through his bad-boy persona. As Olivia and Brax battle their feelings for each other, echoes of the past year begin to surface. A boy who once turned Olivia’s whole world upside down reappears, and “harmless” pranks wreak havoc. Pretty soon the aspiring astronomer is on the verge of revealing her most difficult, heartbreaking secret. All the while, Brax must wrestle with the irrevocable dare, and Olivia struggles against all logic as she does the one thing only a stupid girl would do: fall in love. "Stupid Girl is the single best new adult novel that I have read to date. Make sure your e-reader is charged, because once you start, you won't be able to stop." – NYT and USA TODAY bestselling author Lauren Hawkeye "A brilliant story full of angst, pain, love and loss, Stupid Girl has it all.” – NYT and USA TODAY bestselling author Cathryn Fox After you've fallen in love with STUPID GIRL's Brax and Olivia, get another dose of the Stupid in Love series. STUPID BOY is out now!

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I’m With Stupid: How Do You Fire a Pistol With Your Feet?

As you’ll no doubt agree if you’re a regular reader of this column, I’ve been rather wrapped up in myself the past couple of weeks. I’ve been yammering away so much about my play — which has two more showings, by the way — that I’ve totally neglected my important role as arbiter of what is and what is not stupid in today’s society.

So self-engrossed was I, in fact, that I completely missed a story so dumb it couldn’t not be a column. Here’s the 2-week-old headline from the Trenton, New Jersey, Trentonian, just so you know what we’re dealing with: “Weapon charge dismissed for man with no muscle control in arms.”

I know on the surface that seems innocuous enough, but perhaps we could let the man’s attorney sum it up in a more straightforward way. As she said, “Really? It took this long to dismiss a case against a guy who can’t use his arms? It’s beyond belief. It’s the tip of the iceberg, but shows you what’s wrong with this system.”

Here’s what happened: A year ago, a man from Salem, New Jersey, who couldn’t move his arms due to a spinal injury was riding in a car with three other men. The car was pulled over for a moving violation, and in the back seat police discovered a bottle of prescription codeine and a 9 mm handgun that had been stolen in Anchorage, Alaska, of all places.

No one would admit to ownership of the pistol or the codeine, so the police charged all four of the men, including the guy who couldn’t move his arms, with possession of an illegal gun. I’m going to assume the cops thought the guy planned to fire the gun with his toes, because I’m not sure how else he could have manipulated a firearm.

All of the other men in the car told police that the gun didn’t belong to the man with no arm control — a fact that I would think would seem obvious — but the cops weren’t buying it, and the guy ended up spending four months in jail before common sense and public outcry prevailed. The charges were eventually dropped due to “insufficient evidence,” and the man was set free.

I found the man’s attorney’s comments about the whole affair interesting, but I think I disagree with some of her points. For example, whereas she says, “It’s beyond belief,” I would argue that it is entirely within the realm of belief. In America today, we are governed and policed in such a cockamamie fashion that the only surprising part of the no-arm-control man’s story is that he isn’t going to spend the rest of his life in jail.

But you still have to wonder what the point was of arresting the guy, putting him through a costly legal process and then paying to keep him in prison for four months when he was clearly not guilty of the crime. What did that accomplish?

The easy answer is to say that it was just a stupid procedural hiccup and a waste of time and taxpayer money, but I think there could be a more nefarious reason behind the actions of the police and courts. This is purely speculation, mind you, but I think the state of New Jersey might have actually done it to save taxpayer money.

My theory, which is unsupported by any evidence or research, is based off another ridiculous story I just read, although the issue has apparently been around for years.

Did you guys know that many states have contracts with private prison operators that allow the prison operators to sue the states if the prisons don’t stay filled? So even if crime goes down, as it has in New Jersey, the state is still responsible for incarcerating enough people to fill privately-run prisons, otherwise it can be sued for millions of taxpayer dollars.

Is that the worst idea you’ve ever heard of or what? How on Earth could any state sign a contract like that? Just so you know, I have no idea if New Jersey has signed such a contract, but it would help explain why the guy who couldn’t use his arms spent four months in the hoosegow on a weapons charge.

The no-arm-control man’s story is certainly just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to bureaucratic stupidity, but I have to disagree with the attorney’s final point: It doesn’t begin to show all the things that are wrong with the system.

Todd Hartley’s prehensile toes are further proof of how little he has evolved from our simian forebears. To read more or leave a comment, please visit

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Media Coverage of Donald Trump Will Create Temporal Stupid Loop That Could Destroy Earth

Scientists warn that media coverage of Republican presidential contender Donald Trump is creating a temporal loop that could potentially destroy the Earth. “The endless reporting of every jackass utterance from Mr. Trump is building what we call a ‘serious-stupid temporal-political convolution’,” says Dr. Sander Von Gelding from the Institute of Dimensional Studies and Sports Apparel (IDSSA). “Journalists, by deliberately giving Mr. Trump air time for each stupid thing he says and justifying it even though they believe he is not a serious candidate, build a continuous serious-stupid feedback which could threaten our political equilibrium, which is precariously stupid enough as it is.”

Von Gelding went on to explain:

Let’s say Mr. Trump holds a press conference in which he announces that, if elected President, he will build a giant laser to fire at Mars because it is sending rapists to Earth to probe us. Media analysts run that announcement, aware of its stupidity, while salivating over ratings it will bring, like the serious drooling dogs they are. Trump responds by insisting Mars will pay for the giant laser. Media analysts respond to Trump’s stupid response, which converts the stupid energy of the original press conference into an equal amount of serious energy, since the media coverage now exists as proof of the original press conference’s serious intent, stupid as it was. Jeb Bush, Marco Rubio, and other Republican candidates follow with their own seriously stupid responses. Soon, the level of serious stupidity increases exponentially until all reality is subsumed by stupidity, Trump has nothing more to say, or we all die, whichever comes first.

Following the IDSSA’s warning, Donald Trump announced he will, indeed, build a giant laser to fire at Mars, claiming, “Ford Motor Company has plans to build a new plant on Mars and take away thousands of jobs on Earth. I’m the only candidate who won’t let that happen.” An apologetic Dr. Von Gelding responded, “Please disregard everything thing I said. Seriously.”

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I’m With Stupid: The Real Reason Cows Don’t Get Earworms

Apparently, I gotta start chewing more gum, and that’s a problem because I’m not a big gum fan.

Oh, I had my day. Back when I was a kid, I could chew Lenny Dykstra-sized pinches of Big League Chew and blow Bubble Yum bubbles bigger than my head, despite the constant threat of spider eggs in the gum.

Yep, I could chew with the best of them, but those days are gone. I almost never chew anymore, generally preferring mints or doughnuts as breath fresheners now that I’m a grown-up.

However, I have a problem, and evidently chewing gum is the solution.

No, my problem isn’t bad breath, smarty pants. My problem is earworms, those insidious tunes that get stuck in your head and repeat themselves over and over and over until you’re completely distracted and want to strangle Carly Rae Jepsen, even though you don’t have a clue who she is.

We all get earworms, and we all have our own Carly Rae Jepsens to strangle. I understand that. But with me, earworms are on a whole other level due to my one special power, the one thing I do better than anyone else, and that’s song lyrics.

For you see, I have what I call a phonographic memory. That means that I can remember the lyrics to pretty much every song I’ve ever heard, but I can’t remember someone’s name literally five seconds after I meet them.

It’s honestly this bad: I was riding a chairlift this past winter with another single, and I asked the guy his name. He told me. I repeated it to make sure I wouldn’t forget it, and by the time I’d said, “I’m Todd. Nice to meet you,” I had already forgotten it. (I think the guy’s name might have been Aaron, but I also think that’s because I don’t really care very much, and Aaron was the first name I came up with alphabetically.)

I’m not kidding. Somebody could say, “Todd, this is Fred. Fred, this is Todd. Todd, what’s his name?” and I would have no idea. But meanwhile, I can remember every word to “Karma Chameleon” or some other crappy song I haven’t heard since 1983.

It’s kind of ridiculous. I’m not exaggerating when I say that the jukebox in my head probably contains more than a thousand songs. I’m not bragging, either; trust me on that. I would so much prefer that all that space in my brain were being used for more constructive purposes, like earning a living, but no; I’m stuck with song lyrics.

So anyway, when I get an earworm, you can rest assured that it is as deeply embedded, irritating and distracting as any worm that ever infested any ear. I mean, it gets stuck in my cranium and it won’t get out.

In the past, I’ve always fought earworms by trying to drown them out with better songs from my mental jukebox — essentially replacing one earworm with another — but that doesn’t always work. It’s no problem for me to bring up something like “Sweet Home Alabama,” but unfortunately, I’ve found that good music doesn’t seem to have the sticking power of insipid pop ditties.

That’s why I have to start chewing gum again. According to a study published in the Quarterly Journal of Experimental Psychology, chewing gum can significantly reduce how often you think about songs and how often they play in your head after you listen to them.

Obviously, that’s good news for everyone who gets songs stuck in their head, which is basically everyone, but I don’t know if it’s great news for me. It’ll be nice to quell earworms, sure, but I don’t know if I’m ready to get back in the chewing game. I thought I’d left my past behind me. I guess I was wrong. You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave, right?

So I’ll be getting sucked back into the game, and I imagine lots of other ex-chewers will, as well — maybe even some of my old rivals. But before we all start chewing our way to inner peace, I’ll leave you with a note of caution.

I don’t know about you, but one of the worst earworm times for me is as I’m trying to fall asleep. Please, people, don’t chew gum in bed. You could choke and die. Even worse, you could get gum in your hair and have to get it out with peanut butter.

Todd Hartley thinks now would be a great time for a montage of Todd Hartley practicing chewing. To read more or leave a comment, please visit

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Rodney Peete — Deflate-Gate Is Stupid … Balls Didn’t Make Colts Lose

Deflated balls or not … the New England Patriots kicked Indy’s ass this weekend — and the amount of air in the pigskin had NOTHING to do with it … so says ex-NFL QB Rodney Peete. Peete — who played in the NFL for 16 years — says the whole…


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Miss BumBum Contestant: ‘I’m Being Punished For Stupid Vanity’ (GRAPHIC PHOTO)

A Miss BumBum runner-up said her obsession with plastic surgery backfired and almost ended her life.

Andressa Urach won second place in the 2012 Miss BumBum competition, a beauty contest in which online voters pick the woman with the country’s top bottom.

To accentuate her figure, Urach told the Daily Mailshe had chemical filler injections for more full looking legs. But in 2013, the fillers started rotting her body tissue.

The real trouble began during a procedure to remove the chemicals in November. She went into septic shock, probably because of an infection from an unclean medical instrument, Nigel Mercer, president of the British Association of Plastic, Reconstructive and Aesthetic Surgeons, told the Mail.

Doctors saved her life, but now she’s confined to a wheelchair and has large holes in her legs where doctors reached the harmful chemicals.


miss bum bum

“I’m paying now for my vanity. I was extremely vain. Everything in search of perfection,” Urach told the Mail. “But instead of making my body more beautiful, I ended up damaging it instead and making it ugly.”

Urach also said she had become too accustomed to getting plastic surgery.

andressa urach

“I never thought twice about going under the knife, and when people warned me of the dangers I just thought, ‘I’ll deal with that if it happens,” Urach said. “I’d go to the doctor like I go to the supermarket, saying I wanted this, that and the other. I just wanted people to look at me and think, ‘wow”‘.

She’s now dedicated to telling others about her experience and warning women about excessive cosmetic surgeries.

andressa urach

Urach’s mother, Marisete De Favari told Brazil’s Globo that she expected her daughter to recover.

“I’m sure that my dear Jesus is wonderful and will cure it,” she said.

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I’m With Stupid: The Xtreme Danger of Giving an Xbox for Xmas

I find myself in sort of an interesting spot with this week’s column. You see, I’m writing this the day before Christmas, but it won’t be published until the day after Christmas. Thus, I’m going to have to predict how Christmas is going to go around my house this year rather than telling you how it went.

So here goes:

First, I predict my son’s head will explode when he sees one of his presents. Months ago, he decided he wanted an Xbox to play Minecraft, and somehow that morphed into him talking about the Xbox he was going to get. I was quick to remind him that he might not get an Xbox, but it turns out I was wrong.

Despite the questionable logic of giving a seven-year-old a video-game system, Santa is bringing my son an Xbox. This is troubling on many, many levels. First, there is the very real possibility that my son’s head will, indeed, explode. Medically, I’m not sure how this could work, but if it can, this will be the time it does.

More importantly though, my son is already a hopeless Minecraft junky. (If you don’t know what Minecraft is, you obviously don’t have a seven-year-old son.) He spends countless hours building entire worlds on my iPad, which is bad enough, but what’s even worse is that he’s discovered Stampy Cat’s videos and now watches them religiously.

If you don’t know who Stampy Cat is (and really, why would you?), he’s an English guy who posts videos of himself talking about and playing Minecraft on YouTube. To you and me, this might seem like the stupidest thing in the world, but to kids, it’s like visual crack, so much so that all of Stampy Cat’s incredibly annoying videos get millions of views.

The result of all this is that if, somehow, my son’s head doesn’t erupt, between Minecraft and Stampy Cat he will probably end up being sucked into our TV like the little girl in Poltergeist. The difference is that he won’t make any effort to get out. Even if that doesn’t happen, it’s almost a given that his butt will become fused to our living room floor and we will be unable to move him away from his wide-eyed position four inches from the TV screen.

The real trouble with my son getting an Xbox, however, is that my son’s father, who definitely doesn’t need more ways to waste time, will have to help his son get started setting up and playing games. I think we can all guess what that’s going to lead to. I can already see myself getting sucked into some pointless game for days on end. If you don’t hear from me for, oh, the next 16 months or so, please come steal my son’s Xbox and save me.

I’m going to assume I won’t become addicted to Minecraft, as I’ve so far resisted all my son’s efforts to get me to play it, but the Xbox comes with a game called Assassin’s Creed that has, according to one website, “hundreds of hours of content.” I can only pray that it’s boring or complicated enough that I won’t want to play it or won’t be able to figure out how it’s played.

Anyway, on to my other predictions. I predict that someone will give me a button-down shirt that I will wear once and then never wear again after the first washing shrinks the sleeves down to the point where they look ridiculous.

As you can probably tell, I’m basing this prediction on past experiences, having been through this many times before. I don’t know what kind of short-armed mutants shirt manufacturers make their wares for, but they seem incapable of getting the sleeve-to-shirt-size ratio even vaguely correct.

My final prediction, the one I feel the most certain about, is that my wife will be disappointed in the gifts she receives from her husband. You might wonder why, if I know this ahead of time, I don’t take steps to remedy the situation. The answer is because I’m afflicted with stupid. Plus, like an idiot, I forgot to ask her what she wants.

Actually, as it turns out, I have one more prediction. I predict that despite all the potential pitfalls inherent in this year’s Christmas gifts, my wife, son and I will all have a wonderful holiday season. I sincerely hope the same prediction holds true for you and your family.

Merry belated Christmas!

Todd Hartley has probably already destroyed the Xbox and his TV in frustration. To read more or leave a comment, please visit
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Crazy, Stupid, Love – Glenn Ficarra & John Requa

Glenn Ficarra & John Requa - Crazy, Stupid, Love  artwork

Crazy, Stupid, Love

Glenn Ficarra & John Requa

Genre: Comedy

Price: $ 14.99

Rental Price: $ 2.99

Release Date: July 29, 2011

At fortysomething, straight-laced Cal Weaver (Steve Carell) is living the dream-good job, nice house, great kids and marriage to his high school sweetheart. But when Cal learns that his wife, Emily (Julianne Moore), has cheated on him and wants a divorce, his "perfect" life quickly unravels. The hapless Cal is taken on as wingman and protégé to handsome, thirtysomething player Jacob Palmer (Ryan Gosling). In an effort to help Cal get over his wife and start living his life, Jacob opens Cal's eyes to the many options before him: flirty women, manly drinks and a sense of style that can't be found at Supercuts or The Gap. But despite Cal's makeover and his many new conquests, the one thing that can't be made over is his heart, which seems to keep leading him back to where he began.

© © 2011 Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc.

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I’m With Stupid: I Shoulda Learned to Potato Them Drums

I’m going to be a pest this week and get a song stuck in your head, but it’s an OK song, so it won’t be that bad. And you’ll definitely remember the song. You’ll probably even remember the video, which seemed cutting-edge in 1985 but is laughably outdated now.

The song is “Money for Nothing” by Dire Straits, and the video, made with Atari-era CGI, is notable for featuring a man’s frozen, decapitated head thawing out in a microwave oven. It was a big hit back when MTV still played music videos.

I’ve been thinking of that song a lot lately. Well, to be honest, I always think a lot about the title and how I can make it work for me, but it’s come up more often than usual recently because of certain events that I’ve noticed in the news.

First there was the case of the guy who fell asleep at a Yankees game and was shown on ESPN while the ESPN announcers talked about him. He’s suing Major League Baseball Advanced Media, ESPN New York, the New York Yankees and announcers Dan Shulman and John Kruk for $ 10 million in damages for defamation and intentional infliction of emotional distress.

The best part is that the guy’s lawsuit claims that Kruk and Shulman “unleashed avalanche of disparaging words” like “stupor, fatty, unintelligent, stupid.” Kruk and Shulman said nothing remotely like that about the guy, so one is left to assume that it might just be possible that the guy already sees himself that way.

The guy was subject to some mockery on Twitter for his size and the fact that he fell asleep at a baseball game, but the only reason anyone knows anything about him is that he filed the lawsuit; otherwise no one would have cared for more than three seconds about him and the 15 stupid tweets that made fun of him.

But that guy’s emotional distress is apparently worth $ 10 million, and the annoying thing is that the rest of us are a little envious of that guy because in our messed-up legal system, he actually has a chance of getting that money. And then he actually has a chance of getting easy, easy chicks for free.

Oh, and by the way, if you’re not getting your chicks for free, it’s called prostitution, and it’s usually illegal. I’m just saying.

The other story that got me thinking of money for nothing involved a guy in Ohio who created a Kickstarter page jokingly seeking $ 10 to pay for his first attempt at making potato salad. For some reason, more than 5,000 people around the world have decided that they really need to give the guy money so he can make a potato salad. As of this writing, the guy had raised $ 43,057.

To his credit, and because he’s apparently a much better person than I am, the man is considering throwing a huge, public potato-salad party for the people of Columbus. If it were me, I would have taken the money, made one potato salad and then never made potato salad again, because I don’t really like potato salad. I consider it the lowest form of potato-based food product.

Anyway, the guy’s dumb potato-salad thing got me thinking of ways that I could get people to give me money through Kickstarter, but then I realized I’d have to create an account, make a page and do some other stuff, which is something, meaning I wouldn’t really be getting money for nothing.

I eventually will figure out a way to get my money for nothing, but in the meantime I think I’ve figured out a way to get money for doing something really easy, and I have Dire Straits to thank for it.

Some of the hardworking jobs about which Mark Knopfler sang, like moving refrigerators and color TVs, would be awful, but there’s one job I think I actually could do. I think I could be a microwave installer.

Mind you, I won’t move microwave ovens, which is an entirely different job, but if you have a microwave oven in place and you need it installed, I will gladly come and plug it in for you for $ 350 plus expenses.

I believe microwave installation is going to be a real growth industry, but it was never my dream. No, my dream was to play the guitar on the MTV — or at least bang on the bongos like a chimpanzee — but it’s been decades since anybody did that.

Todd Hartley says McDonald’s hash browns are the highest form of potatoes. To read more or leave a comment, please visit
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"I Feel Stupid Trying New Sex Positions"

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